Emotions / Life
Emotions/Life
You ever hear “stop your crying” or “you don’t need to cry” etc? When did crying become wrong? Why does one’s tears make others uncomfortable? I think it is because our society has become rushed and insensitive, to the point that most deny themselves a good cry when they need too. Sadly, then most people opt to feed their real issue/s with something unhealthy, like drugs, sex, alcohol, porn, food, rage, obsessive habit (video games), withdrawing etc.
But in reality, if you need to cry or want to cry, by all means go for it. Who cares what others think! Now don’t get me wrong, you certainly don’t want to cry out of place like in the middle of an interview, etc. I think you know what I mean. My point is, we let society stuff our feelings, grief, stress, hurt and let downs because crying about it seems wrong or uncomfortable to others.
You may remember the hilarious Saturday Night Live bits with Jack Handy where he’d say a truth in a funny way. One in particular that I remember was “It takes a big man to cry, it takes even a bigger man to laugh at him.” But see, God gave us emotions. In fact, Jesus is King of Kings, LORD or Lords and I’d like to add Manliest of men and yet He cried multiple times. Actually, the shortest verse in all of the Bible is two words “John 11:35 (NIV) Jesus wept.”
Look I am total guy and not really a crier myself BUT that doesn’t mean I should deny others tears.
Crying makes some uncomfortable because they think they are tasked to stop their tears or have to understand why that person is crying, but that isn’t the case. When someone is hurting or something is causing them to cry the Bible tells what our actual responsibility is “Romans 12:15 (NIV) Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” That means let them cry, sympathize and show empathy and just be there with them. Actually, praying for them wouldn’t hurt either.
You know why we have become so relationally callous across the board? It’s because somewhere along the way we just started making crying wrong. When we do this, we don’t allow love, care, sympathy and empathy to draw us closer together nor do we allow ourselves to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and respond how He’d want us to in that moment.
Listen, life happens whether you like it or not, and everyone’s thresholds are different, to different issues, at different times of life and it just goes to show, we need each other!
If someone doesn’t want to allow you to cry, than maybe it’s time to consider how much you really want to be around them and also reevaluate how safe they really are as a person.
So, if you need to or want to cry, go for it cause it’s actually okay! Tears are a gift from God to help us release some of what’s really going on inside us. And also, next time you see someone crying, don’t pity them, mourn with them.
Lastly, one day Jesus is going to wipe away every tear from our eyes, but that day isn’t here yet and so until then… it looks like crying isn’t wrong after all. God bless- Coach Chuck Aruta